Trick or Treat?

I did this just for fun. watercolour and ink on Bristol board.

Art and Time

Can’t believe that the first year of college has passed so quickly and has already come to an end.  I think the end of year show coinciding with my birthday amplified my awareness of the passage of time.  Yet another year notched up and as usual, just an ordinary day marked only by my knowledge of having a different age attached and the acquisition of a new stock of chocolate from the sproggies.

I did however keep myself busy and spent the day doing a piece of homework for my daughter with marker pens on one of the class’s current themes of graffiti art.

The owl is the school logo rather than the influence of some weird fashion trend that currently appears on clothes and bags.  Of course the teacher knew I did it but seemed happy to have what she said was her ‘own’ picture, which I assume was in reference to the teacher next door that still has the watercolour illustration I did last year on his wall.  

That’s one thing that has occurred to me in terms of drawings and paintings,…..the longevity of them.  I mean potentially anything I produce now could last way past me and as long as the materials used on them will.  That’s assuming that they don’t get destroyed or used for anything else that a canvas could get used for.  A tea tray?, wind break? Trampoline for small pets?

I wonder how long this one will last?

.....until someone gets fed up of storing something that takes up too much room and collects dust I expect.  Well it’s not like me to plan ahead but I will paint car boot sized canvases, for the immediate future at least.  Hmmm, now I still have to get this one out of college somehow.

Vanitas

There is always a tendency to look for meaning and symbolism in artwork.  It became apparent from feedback I had concerning a particular drawing a couple of years ago.  I had just plonked myself down and drawn what I could see, which in this case was a higgledy-piggledy arrangement of objects in the square shelves in my room.  To me just random, but someone else had attributed meaning to this chaotic array.  From this point I became conscious of this tendency and potential to read into things and instead started to purposely manipulate and employ the use of symbolism.  I thought if people are going to attribute meaning anyway, I may as well put in the meaning I want to express.  I think a piece of artwork can never be experienced exactly like the artists’ ‘feel’ that they were driven by in an attempt to express it, but symbolism in a painting can help communicate ideas and more, in a way that words cannot.  After all like Edward Hopper said,  “If you could say it in words, there would be no reason to paint”

 I find it interesting that for example in the Dutch Vanitas paintings certain objects had a symbolic meaning attached.   

Pieter Claesz

http://www.wga.hu/html_m/c/claesz/vanitas1.html
 
VANITAS
(The term originally comes from the opening lines of the Book of Ecclesiastes in the Bible: ‘Vanity of vanities, saith the Preacher, vanity of vanities, all is vanity.’
Vanitas are closely related to memento mori still lifes which are artworks that remind the viewer of the shortness and fragility of life (memento mori is a Latin phrase meaning ‘remember you must die’) and include symbols such as skulls and extinguished candles. However vanitas still-lifes also include other symbols such as musical instruments, wine and books to remind us explicitly of the vanity (in the sense of worthlessness) of worldly pleasures and goods. )

http://www.tate.org.uk/learn/online-resources/glossary/v/vanitas


 
In my painting, which is still not finished, I am using objects to symbolise personal meaning.
 Although not a word originally in mind when I started this painting, during the past couple of months that it’s been hovering around the kithen table it has become known as ‘Vanitas’.  Not strictly a Vanitas, it is though along those lines.  Generally I think Vanitas paintings had some religious associations and were predominantly pointing out that emphasis on wealth and worldly pleasures were obstacles on the path to salvation.  They pointed out the impermanence of these things and the fact that death was inevitable and imminent. 

 
So although this painting has elements of the style of the Vanitas it was intended more of a self scrutiny, an awareness of my existence and my life rather than impending death, (I hope not anyway).  The objects placed were based on my own symbolic associations but I have since been looking at the relevance of objects in Vanitas paintings.  The clock it seems is quite universal in its symbolism of time passing and in my painting the relevance is of this is the fact that it seems I am starting my life’s true course now, at middle age.  To me it also signifies the fact that time, or lack of it is such an issue to me, with kids, home life and health issues, time is precious and can never be wasted and the clock is at the forefront. (Perhaps it also represents my difficulty in waking in the mornings as this clock is one of six alarms set!). The photos are of my kids which is self explanatory really, they are most important in my life and they have been my sole focus up until now.  The left generally I believe signifies the past and the bonsai in the background is a tree that is stunted, restrained and restricted from growing into it’s full form.  This is my past.  Vanitas paintings often depicted vessels usually stoneware or porcelain which held water or oil, substances that sustained life at the time.  My mug of coffee which to be honest helps to keep me awake some days is never far away and this ‘big love’ mug represents having given much of myself to others.  The pot containing the brushes represent artwork and my way forward, the short scruffy brushes to the left and the stronger longer ones pointing to the future.  Beneath the mug is my driving license – I am just a number in terms of society.  I became aware that Vanitas paintings often included musical instruments, these sometimes represent artistic inspiration but also indulgence of the senses.  I painted my poor neglected saxophone in later, I don’t have time for it now so it’s in the background, it represents both creativity but also the need to express it.  Lastly, the mirror generally represents vanity which Vanitas paintings were suggesting should be avoided, but in this instance it represents my own reflection.  Physical reflection and psychological reflection.

I'm feeling like a paper shredder

You know how oil paint on the surface of water marbles in a random kaleidoscope of swirling colour.  I think that’s how ideas and creativity forms in the mind.  Sooner or later there’s a combination, a merge of colour that seemingly randomly forms into a pattern and design that satisfies and excites.  However, if you add too much paint, force, manipulate and mix a lot, the mix becomes dull.  It needs room to circulate and flow freely.  I think the latter is how I’m feeling.  I’m feeling like my paper shredder when, in my impatience to save time, I try to shove a whole clump of paper in at once and it always results in everything grinding to a complete halt.

Two weeks of school Easter holidays was not conducive to any kind of creativity.  I need head space in which to allow these ideas to swirl and develop.  The seeds are there but they don’t grow.  My head feels disjointed, full of fragments that need free flow to flourish but instead become unresolved irritation that given space could develop, like the oyster shell’s grit irritations grow into beautiful pearls - given enough time.  All I want to do is indulge unrestricted and give expression to this world inside my head, but thoughts are never allowed to fully form, instead the flow is constantly punctuated and interrupted by banal thoughts of home life practicalities and chores and now it seems school chores too.  I feel a burdening weight of writing tasks, research and presentation.  The presentation has the added weight of nerves attached, awakening my most potent phobia.  The small sense of relief I had at almost completing preparation for it has now gone and instead, frustration at now receiving details of criteria that I have not met. Talking about art but never doing any.  I’m finding it near to impossible to relax into any creativity when I know these other things have to be done, (there’s too much paint being added and mixed, too much paper being shoved in).  I feel the pressure of time, something always in short supply, and when I think of tackling these other things, my head presents me with a very tall blank wall.  So like the shredder I feel I’ve ground to a halt.